Why are we still accepting bad sex? Seriously. Way too many people are out here having meh experiences and pretending it’s fine. Whether it’s one-sided, unsatisfying, or just plain boring, it’s wild that bad sex is something so many people just… tolerate. But why? And more importantly how do we fix it?
One of the biggest reasons? People still act like penetration is the main event, and everything else is just a warm-up. We see it in movies all the time: the passionate make out, the clothes flying off, the dramatic pan-out shot, and boom – back down they lie, flushed and out-of-breath. That’s it. Sex over. But for a lot of people, that’s not even where the good stuff happens. And yet, so many still treat foreplay like a suggestion rather than a requirement.
Then there’s the one and done mentality, where one person finishes and suddenly the whole thing is over, regardless of whether their partner was even close. Imagine going out to eat and the waiter only brings one person’s food. Everyone else is just expected to sit there and be happy for them. Make it make sense. If one of you is done and the other isn’t, the experience doesn't have to be finished. That doesn’t mean go for round two immediately, but intimacy isn’t black and white. Finish them with your hands, mouths, maybe toys - leaving them hanging is just lazy according to Psychology Today.
And let’s talk about the mind-reading method. Good sex isn’t a guessing game. Too many people expect their partners to just “know” what they like without ever actually saying it. If you need more foreplay, say it. If the rhythm is off, adjust it. If something isn’t working, speak up. Expecting someone to just figure it out is like handing them a map with no labels and getting mad when they take a wrong turn.
Another problem? People don’t expand their definition of what “counts” as sex. If you think sex only counts when penetration happens, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. The best sex happens when both partners focus on pleasure, not just the act itself. Oral, hands, toys, and mutual exploration should be just as valued as penetration.
So, how do we fix it?
And if you really want to guarantee satisfaction? A little outside help never hurts. 😉 Whether it’s adding a clitoral stimulator or a vibrating cock ring, the right toy can turn meh into mind-blowing see our top picks here.
Stay safe, stay curious, and stay kinky,
Matilda at My Devilish Desires